The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

Words of Wisdom: What you don’t know about your POWER

Many of us think that our power is a tool or a weapon, but, in fact, power is a state of being, the way you see, hold and handle yourself in the world that then determines your experiences. The external world can only respond to the way you hold and handle yourself internally. If you show up as weak, broken, confused and dazed, the world is going to respond to you that way. If you show up as confident, kind, compassionate and loving, then the world is going to respond to you that way.

–Iyanla Vanzant (an excerpt from 7 Things You Don’t Know About the Power You’ve Always Had )

Cancer: “Incurable” means to cure from within #RIPSTEVEJOBS

“Every time you hear something is “incurable,” know that they have not yet discovered a cure for it and you must go within to find your own solution. Know that there is an Intelligence greater.”-Louise Hay

This post comes just hours after news of the loss of Steve Jobs, a great American icon who changed the way that we view apples forever (founder and former CEO of Apple, Inc.). His story of how he helped changed the world by believing in himself and his vision is beyond inspiring. It is uplifting, re-assuring, and outright BOLD. Words can hardly describe what his presence on earth has really meant for me, but I am grateful that we live during this time when technology has become a major part of our everyday lives, and much of that can be attributed to this man.

I was inspired to write this post because of the very thing that eventually took the life of such an amazing being, cancer. It’s a disease that has consumed the lives of many, especially in this day in age when day-to-day life is much more taxing, stress levels are high, people struggle to cope with life, pollution and contamination has made a home in our planet and in our foods, and the true power of human beings has become largely tainted and blurred by the nothingness of what we once thought meant something.

Oftentimes when we deal with issues of health, we are trained to rely heavily on traditional medicine, which varies according to a person’s religious or spiritual views. But what happens when the diagnosis is labeled as “incurable”? When we break down the word for what it truly symbolizes in its essence, “in” is a prefix that means “not” or “inside,” “cure” means to “relieve of disease” or “remedy/restore health,” and “-able” means “capable of.” Incurable means “to cure within”

When something is incurable it means that we are capable of, or have the ability to restore health from within.”

When we hear the daunting word “incurable” slip off of the lips of our trusted physicians, it then becomes our duty to take back our power though the understanding that since nothing outside of us can heal what it is that we are dealing with, we must go deep within to do work on levels beyond the physical. We must then rely on a SOURCE much greater, and capable than man himself.

Although our species has been gifted with immeasurable power, there is a SOURCE from even whence we’ve come, and it is far more powerful than we could ever imagine, and it lives within us all. Our SOURCE is what every philosopher, Saint, religion points us in the direction of. And based on what we know as humans, through our SOURCE all things are possible… Yes, even a cure. And many people are living testaments of just how powerful this very idea has been for them, even in the face of the “incurable.”

Steve Jobs is one of these people, for when he was first diagnosed with this incurable form of cancer, he was told that he would live only a few months. However, 8 years later, we would learn that it was largely his desire to live, along with the help of traditional medicine, that carried him the extra mile. Millions of other people can also attest to the power of “will” and the mind in terms of determining their fate.

Thankfully one of those people is a woman by the name of Louise L. Hay. She is known as the woman who cured herself of cancer, through lots of spiritual, health, and mental work. She has been a pioneer in the part of science that has been largely ignored for thousands of years, metaphysics (the study of the connection of the mind and body). She’s taken the spiritual approach to get people to understand the true power of the human mind and body in her literary work titled,YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. In the same ways that Jesus tried to let man understand their true power through GOD, Louise does the very same thing, and on many levels she is a modern-day saint.

For her works, and for all that Steve Jobs stood for I say, “NAMASTE!” (which means “I salute the Divine within you; I salute your God-given gifts). To the person who has lived to hear the word incurable slapped across their life’s timeline, I say, “That which man cannot do, GOD CAN… and BEYOND.”

Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. – Luke 17:20-21 (King James Version)

Please check out these interview clips from YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE below.

Love,

@BCSTARKS

If you make a “sound” decision, STICK WITH IT!

Based on the many lessons that I have, and continue to encounter, I am mostly learning the importance of sticking with whatever decisions I make; as long as when I come to my conclusion about a subject (whatever it may be) I am operating out of my best emotional state (excitement, happiness, creativity, peace, joy, love).

This is rather important because many times we go into situations feeling positive emotions about something, but eventually we get distracted from the good, and begin to shift our focus to those things and circumstances unwanted… which ultimately leaves us second guessing and regretting our choices (and could possibly cause us to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities).

But the idea to understand is that there was a reason why you once felt so great about the conclusion that you drew. The reason is that no vision, especially when it is of “light,” (positive feelings and actions) is ever flawed. If the decision is harmless, to yourself and others, and it feels right, then IT IS RIGHT.

However, its only when you start giving your attention to what’s so wrong about it, that your experience with it becomes so wrong. Everything starts to contradict your initial excitement because your focus has gone from why it’s so great, to your being consumed with why it’s so bad.

I am a firm believer in the power of the human mind to be able to create out of a single thought, whatever experiences and things that one chooses to give their attention to. Look around, every physical thing in life is a perfect example of this idea (airplanes, cars, buildings, businesses, technology, music… all are the result of focused attention/thoughts.

The reason I’ve learned to not walk away from decisions that I make from a positive emotional state, is because when I walk through the process of those choices, I find that the greatest lessons lie there; lessons that are meant to shape us into the very people that we intend to be.

A simple shift in one’s awareness from how bad it is (now) to how great it is (when we first imagined it, and even now, as long as we choose to only entertain the good) will reveal that there is no such thing as a mistake or coincidence when you are operating from SOURCE. If you can continue to exercise faith by walking through your process, then perseverance will show you that none of your focused effort will ever be in vain.

So if you made the decision with the good intentions, stick with it, and in doing so continue to be your best self. Watch how your process turns from obstacle to open opportunity to grow abundantly. When you finally “arrive,” you can look back and say, “It was all a part of my process, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

LOVE,

@BCSTARKS

An open gesture of gratitude…

As this beautiful journey of mine continues to unfold, I want to share with my readers my appreciation for being. Much like I would in a silent prayer, I openly thank my SOURCE for revealing to me my own power. I am grateful for those obstacles which have helped to shape my entire being, for they remind me of where my greatest and true strength lies… Yes, within.

I’m thankful for knowing that its always there when I need it; to guide me when I feel that I’ve lost my way; to help guide others to their own; to help restore peace, and to help me to become a channel of LOVE that shines brightly upon the faces of many. I am grateful for this platform, for it allows me to reach those who feel a bit of growth within themselves upon reading these posts. I look forward to continuing to become that “beacon on the hill” whose story inspires many to inspire others.

This is my open gesture of gratitude, to remind all that even amidst challenges, there is still so much more to thankful for.

Love,

@BCSTARKS