How Creating A New Blueprint Can Change Your Life Story

These past couple of months have been a bit of a challenge for me. Not only have I been on an emotional roller coaster, but I’ve found myself conflicted about the direction that I was willing to allow my life to take. Just when I thought I had it all mapped out, life showed me that maybe I don’t have the answers that I thought I did.

Ever been there before?

Well I’m here. And just as I was preparing to go into hiding and sulk about how much my life sucks right now because nothing is going the way I want it to, I came across a video by none other than Tony Robbins. This video titled “Create A New Story” was right on time. In it, Tony addresses the issue of how to get unstuck by changing your blueprint. He defines a “blueprint” as the way that a person believes life should be according to his or her experiences, upbringing, religion, etc… For me, I hadn’t realized how hard I had been on myself for so long because I was so concerned with what others would think about the decisions that I have made in my life thus far… As if they had all the answers to life. I had become so married to this idea about how things were supposed to be that I became bitter with my reality because it was so far from the life that I want, and for that I have suffered massively. From bouts of depression, strong resentment, anxiety attacks, self-doubt, crippling fear of the unknown, and outright anger. I have experienced it all, and its been a path of mental and emotional torture.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies”- Nelson Mandela

That is, until I watched this video. The message that Tony brings home is that to experience happiness and live the life that you can be proud of, you have to be willing to change your view of how things are supposed to be. We as humans have to learn to let go of the ideals that make up the so-called perfect life, and shift to being open to the fact that there is no such thing as one way to be happy. We have to take massive action towards that things that will help us get closer to our goals, or change our blueprint of what success looks like.

An example he uses is that of a former professional basketball player who suffered career ending injuries. This particular player was now living some of his darkest days because his livelihood had been ripped away from him and he could not see any other way to get back to life as he knew it. He became depressed and angry, and lost sight of his purpose because his blueprint had always been to take care of his family through what he had always been great at, basketball. He found so many people to blame for why he was so unhappy, including GOD, and he could not bring himself to see that life could be better in spite of what had happened to him. It wasn’t until Tony showed him that life was only miserable because he was only allowing himself to see things one way, that he became more open to changing his perception of a perfect life.

It was such a beautiful revelation for both this former basketball player and myself. So much so, that I decided to share part of my journey here with you, as well as the very video that helped me realize the damage that I was doing to myself, and to finally be open to a new paradigm and way of life.

Check it out below and let me know what you think.

Peace, Love, and Revelations!- @BCStarks

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How to Float Through Life’s Peaks and Valleys

Photo courtesy of bringchange.in

It’s funny how life goes through its peaks and valleys. It’s funny how when we’re in the valley or that dark place, it feels like we’re dying a slow death. And when the peaks are peeking or we are experiencing happiness, we feel like we are unstoppable, unconquerable, and outright powerful! And in those moments, we ARE.

Lately, I’ve been on a cloud of unconcealed bliss. My feelings about my life and this journey that I’m on have brought me to this place of peace within. I’ve gotten to this place where I don’t feel the need to worry, even when things outside of me aren’t looking too promising. I no longer look outside of myself for validation of WHO I AM or WHAT my WORTH is. I no longer entertain those who fail to SEE me as I see myself, to respect my evolution and embrace the whole of me. This space that I am in has been carved out for me by God to take place at this point of my life because it was always God and the Universes intention to use my story as a means of reflecting HIS light.

I now trust that every valley that I ever found myself in was there to teach me how strong and resilient I really am. They were there to show me that regardless of the obstacle, LIFE. GOES. ON. And instead of folding, I learned to bend and flex, and sometimes morph into whatever the moment calls for. I was only able to do this when I truly relied on a SOURCE bigger than me.

Being raised in a Christian Baptist faith, I learned the importance of the Bible verse that says something like, “Lean not on your own understanding, but trust in the lord with all your heart. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Well lets just say that I have acknowledge that I don’t walk alone in this world, even when I am alone. I feel very watched over, and protected, and safe, and secure, and befriended, and loved, and appreciated, and forgiven, and trusted, and… Well, I could go on and on, but you get the point. I feel all of these things even when I am alone because I now KNOW that God is in me, and acts through me even unbeknownst to me. And if I know what I know about God, then I KNOW that he is the creator of all things, and can do all things.

With this knowledge, I know that if HE is in me, then it is also true that I too am a creator, and a conqueror, and that with sheer WILL POWER, I can overcome any obstacle placed before me, and still find PEACE in my heart. I thank GOD for this level of understanding! And you should too! Because we all are being walked with throughout our journeys. We are NEVER truly alone. However, It is only when we consciously decide to “lean not” on our own visual understanding of what we see and experience in life, and instead, step outside of our stories and understand the bigger picture of what GOD is doing with our spirits, that we can experience this most profound sense of PEACE and POWER. It is then that you can let go of the blame, and anger, and frustration, and take control of your emotions, and ultimately your LIFE!

I believe that I AM a Teacher of some of life’s most humbling, yet graceful lessons because of the peaks and valleys that I’ve faced along this journey. But I am ever so thankful for them, and I wouldn’t take any one of them away if I had the chance, because they made me who I am today. And like fine wine, I just keep getting better with time! And if you pay attention, so do YOU! 😉

Peace & Love,

@BCSTARKS

The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

Are You A Prisoner Of Fear?

The topic of fear has been one that I’ve visited often on the blog. Mostly because it’s the main source of many things that keep us separate from our truths. I still struggle with my own fears as I try to figure out my path and challenge old beliefs that no longer serve me. And man is it difficult to shatter learned paradigms!

Let’s be honest, we all know what it feels like to have hopes and dreams. But most of us know more about just wishing than we do the sweet taste of victory that accomplishing goals can bring. That’s because all too often we are so quick to talk ourselves right off the path of achieving them because we fear that we aren’t good enough, don’t have enough time or money, or resources, etc…

How then, do we ever expect things to change if we’re not willing to meet GOD halfway? After all, we are 100% responsible for our 50% part in co-creation with HIM. Dreams don’t just fall in one’s lap. You have to do more than just pray, you have to take bold and swift action.

“But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead”- James 2:20 KJV

When you’ve done all that you can do with the spirit of excellence, God will match your effort with miraculous results. Sounds like something that you already know intellectually, right? Me too! Lol But that’s where this notion of fearful imprisonment comes in.

Being a prisoner of fear means playing small and shying away from your highest expression of self. It’s that thing you do instead of going after your dreams, or letting your voice be heard on things that matter most to you. Being a prisoner of fear means procrastination, because it’s much scarier to begin a thing, than it is to avoid it. Being a prisoner of fear means running away from the very things that you’ve always yearned for because to run towards it would almost make it too good to be true. As if you don’t deserve it… !!! Being a prisoner of fear means staying stuck in a cycle that just won’t let things get better for you.

Why we put ourselves through such agony and misery at times is one of humanities most sought after mysteries. So much so that religions have been formed around the very idea of either reasoning fear, easing fear or creating more of it.

Being a prisoner of fear is not what God intended for us, yet its the source of overcoming for many people’s journey. Often seen as a great protector, fear only means imprisonment when we keep ourselves separate from the expansion of spirit, and the new-found awareness to do and be more in life.  The result is we avoid honoring our callings, talents, visions, desires all because it scares us far more to face the fear than to overcome it.

Are you a prisoner fear? If, so I’d like to know how you came to realize it and what you aspire to do to overcome it. Feel free to comment below or shoot me an email and your testimony can be featured on the blog!

Until next time,

❀ @BCSTARKS

True Soulmates and Expectations

Soulmate

Hey there lovies!! I’ve pretty much spent the past week and a half on an adventure. That’s right, I’m doing what I call “gettin’ me some life”. And its been ahhhmazing so far. The the thing I love most about travel and quiet time is that you learn so much about yourself and it gives you time to reflect on whats really important. Which brings me to the topic of relationships…

A few weeks ago I came across the image above on Instagram and I could sooo relate. I’m such a firm believer in relationships shaping and molding us into who we are supposed to be. That is, if we can avoid becoming resentful and bitter by looking beyond the surface of things and finding the lessons instead.

A Course In Miracles presents the idea (also described by author Marianne Willamson in “A Return To Love”) that soulmates are merely a spiritual assignment given to us by God to face the parts of ourselves that we would often ignore otherwise. And contrary to common belief about just who a soulmate could be, ACIM presents the idea that every single relationship that we have in life, whether romantic, platonic, familial, etc… we are all soulmates here in this lifetime interacting with one another for the purpose of somehow advancing mankind towards its original source. LOVE !

Sounds like a bit much to swallow, I know. I thought the same thing.  But as I began to reflect on my life’s journey and started to look back for the beauty of even the most dreadful situations, I realized that they all contributed to the woman I am today. The best version of me yet! And like fine wine, I get better with time… and so do you!

Relationships have taught me that when we are forced to be vulnerable in our interactions and peel back the layers of ourselves that can sometimes be embarrassing and even quite painful to bear, we allow our true transformation to occur. And by embracing that transformation with peace and gratitude, we send signals into the Universe that indicate that we are ready for the next great lesson that will bring us closer to our true selves: the infinite, loving, limitless, all-powerful, and masterfully created spirits that God created us to be.

But when we don’t embrace that transformation; when we are resentful and bitter because things went awry or we refuse to accept our our own or another’s growth and evolution; we find ourselves stuck in a pattern of what seems to be the same relationships replicating themselves through different people and interactions. And we’ve all been there!

The great news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. A mere shift in awareness and the dedication to allow yourself to patient with your  life’s process, as well as respecting the life process of others changes everything. You’ll become so good at this until one day you will realize just how much of a co-creator of relationships you truly are. Then finding the soulmate of your dreams becomes that much more possible.

On that note, check out this phenomenal video by one of my favorite authors Abraham and Esther Hicks on finding a soulmate and the power of expectation. Super inspiring!

Love,

@BCSTARKS

Words of Wisdom: How M.E. Sees It

“I AM ENOUGH AND I AM NOT MY HISTORY. I BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS THE ONLY NUTRIENT IN THE WORLD THAT CAN BE EXPRESSED, AND I VOW TO TRY MY BEST TO PRACTICE ITS EXPRESSION IN EVERYTHING I DO AND WITH EVERYONE I KNOW. I AM NEVER WITHOUT RESOURCES. I AM A CHILD OF THE HALF LIGHT. I AM CONNECTED TO THE WHOLE. I AM A CREATIVE FORCE, I RECALL THE ORIGINAL PROGRAM THAT IS MY DESIGN IN WHICH I LIVE MY LIFE BY. I AM A MAGNET. I KNOW NOTHING, BUT I HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE TRUTH- THATS HOW I SEE YOU, EVEN WITH MY EYES CLOSED.” – Melody Ehsani

Best Guided Meditation Video Yet!

Today is one of what I like to call my “breathing day”. It’s a day where I refrain from all work, and focus solely on feeding my spirit and stimulating my mind. So much of our daily lives are clouded with the problems of the world, and very rarely do we remember the tiny voice within that rallies for your own inner peace. I’m ever grateful for my breathing days, though they have been few and in between these past 7 months. Whenever I grant myself the opportunity to reconnect to my spirit, that inner voice, and ever-present energy, I feel whole and complete. I feel fearless, and adequate to do and become whatever it is that I need to be in the moment. I love feeling all-powerful, just as our creator intended for us to feel… because WE ARE!

So now, I would like to share with my readers yet another meditation video that I stumbled upon. It is phenomenal guided meditation, and by the far the best that I’ve heard yet. Its laced with positive affirmations and empowering thoughts spoken in the most calmest and soothing voice that I’ve almost ever heard. I like to close my eyes and sometimes find myself falling asleep while listening to it, only to awaken in the most peaceful state imaginable. As you can see, I beyond co-sign for this meditation video. Try it and let me know what you think.

Namaste!

@BCSTARKS