How Creating A New Blueprint Can Change Your Life Story

These past couple of months have been a bit of a challenge for me. Not only have I been on an emotional roller coaster, but I’ve found myself conflicted about the direction that I was willing to allow my life to take. Just when I thought I had it all mapped out, life showed me that maybe I don’t have the answers that I thought I did.

Ever been there before?

Well I’m here. And just as I was preparing to go into hiding and sulk about how much my life sucks right now because nothing is going the way I want it to, I came across a video by none other than Tony Robbins. This video titled “Create A New Story” was right on time. In it, Tony addresses the issue of how to get unstuck by changing your blueprint. He defines a “blueprint” as the way that a person believes life should be according to his or her experiences, upbringing, religion, etc… For me, I hadn’t realized how hard I had been on myself for so long because I was so concerned with what others would think about the decisions that I have made in my life thus far… As if they had all the answers to life. I had become so married to this idea about how things were supposed to be that I became bitter with my reality because it was so far from the life that I want, and for that I have suffered massively. From bouts of depression, strong resentment, anxiety attacks, self-doubt, crippling fear of the unknown, and outright anger. I have experienced it all, and its been a path of mental and emotional torture.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies”- Nelson Mandela

That is, until I watched this video. The message that Tony brings home is that to experience happiness and live the life that you can be proud of, you have to be willing to change your view of how things are supposed to be. We as humans have to learn to let go of the ideals that make up the so-called perfect life, and shift to being open to the fact that there is no such thing as one way to be happy. We have to take massive action towards that things that will help us get closer to our goals, or change our blueprint of what success looks like.

An example he uses is that of a former professional basketball player who suffered career ending injuries. This particular player was now living some of his darkest days because his livelihood had been ripped away from him and he could not see any other way to get back to life as he knew it. He became depressed and angry, and lost sight of his purpose because his blueprint had always been to take care of his family through what he had always been great at, basketball. He found so many people to blame for why he was so unhappy, including GOD, and he could not bring himself to see that life could be better in spite of what had happened to him. It wasn’t until Tony showed him that life was only miserable because he was only allowing himself to see things one way, that he became more open to changing his perception of a perfect life.

It was such a beautiful revelation for both this former basketball player and myself. So much so, that I decided to share part of my journey here with you, as well as the very video that helped me realize the damage that I was doing to myself, and to finally be open to a new paradigm and way of life.

Check it out below and let me know what you think.

Peace, Love, and Revelations!- @BCStarks

Advertisements

The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

There is power in being kind to yourself

I’m at an interesting point in my life where I’m gaining a better understanding about the power of kindness and compassion for self.  Most of us would like to believe that we are kind and compassionate by nature, and to a certain degree we are. But kindness and compassion for self  is something that most people struggle with on a large-scale, including myself for some time.

It wasn’t until I came to understand the concept that you can only effectively be the “thing” for others, that  you are for yourself, that my eyes began to open. My personal struggle was that I couldn’t be as compassionate and kind towards others as I really wanted to  because I had mental blocks that wouldn’t even allow me to be gentle, or feel compassion for myself. At first this was a hard pill to swallow, that is until I began to dig deeper.

The truth is, I had always been very hard on myself, especially when it came to setting goals, and getting things accomplished. I’m not quite sure where I learned it from, but I recall being extremely critical with myself whenever I felt that I didn’t meet a certain goal, or complete certain tasks.   Guilty as charged.

Luckily for me, I was able to identify this as something that I NEEDED  to change within myself to allow myself room to grow in other areas. If I wanted to have a better relationship with life (which includes relationships with family, friends, partners, as well as better experiences, health, etc.) I needed to get a grip on showing myself some TLC, and a lot more of it.

In order to do this, I began to put an end to criticizing myself, even for the slightest of things. We don’t recognize what powerful messages we are constantly sending the Universe when we criticize ourselves. Every single time you find something to criticize yourself about, you are subconsciously telling the Universe “I’m not good enough.” Therefore, you attract experiences and people into your life that give you more validation of not being good enough. Think about your life long and hard, and try to understand what I’m talking about… This is exactly what I knew I had to put an end to. 

Once you become aware of criticism within yourself, you have to tell yourself the opposite of what you normally would, something nice for a change. Tell yourself you are beautiful/handsome, flaws and all; that you love and approve of yourself no matter where you are in life; that you are never lacking because God always provides for you; that you forgive yourself for anything that you previously disapproved of; that you are where you are, and that is perfectly okay because every situation in life is temporary; that you respect your life process and trust that you always make the right decisions that will add to your growth. All of these thoughts counteract the negative one’s that you’ve probably been telling yourself all your life. Repeating them as often as possible, especially when you feel the need to criticize yourself or others, will begin to set you free.

When you can focus on becoming a better you, there is no room for finding fault in others. Therefore, you can be genuinely kind and compassionate towards others, because you will begin to be it for yourself. More importantly, the Universe will begin to support every positive thought that you bring to it, and life will begin to be much more rewarding.

Remember, thoughts become things. And whatever it is that you choose to believe becomes true for you.

The Optimist Creed by Christian D. Larson

I absolutely love this creed. Check it out:

Promise Yourself –
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is
something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best
and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and
press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and
give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that
you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Its never too late to reinvent yourself

I’m liking this new me… Better yet, I’m loving her!!! XOXOX

This is something that I’m constantly reminding myself of. There is no such thing as “its too late”… unless you truely believe that. Afterall, you are what you believe.

I’m currently on a mission to position myself to be the best “Me” possible each and every day. I’m willing to do what I’ve never done before, go where I’ve never gone, try what I’ve never tried, and be what I’ve been all along, but on a grander scale… Phenomenal! I’m willing to push the envelop of growth and embrace all that I have, and will become. And it feels goooooooood! 🙂

Don’t like what you think of yourself? Change your thoughts! Don’t like your career? Try something else! Don’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend? Find somebody new! (lol) Hunni, a lifetime is not all that long so why waste time with things that make you unhappy or miserable? You know what I say… The change that you want to see will appear when you start doing something different.

After all, the only thing that we REALLY have true control of is ourselves.