SELF MASTERY: Control Your Thoughts/Actions, Surrender The Outcome (On Every Subject!)


My greatest task these past several months has been the act of letting go. Its one of the hardest things to do when you’re so used to being a bit of a control freak. Okay… Let’s admit, we ALL do this with certain aspects of our lives. We all want to feel as if we have a sense of control over the things that are going on around us. And to a certain degree, we do. But what I’m coming to know, is that the greatest thing that we should aspire to have control over has nothing to do with anything outside of oneself. It has EVERYTHING to do with checking in with the thoughts and feelings that are behind every action or decision that one may make.

Most recently, I had to deal with relationship disappointment. For me, it was that feeling and supporting thoughts of being deprived or cheated of certain treatment. This is a very typical thing for humans, especially women to endure as we are given so many images and ideas from the outside world about how things are supposed to be. And its amazing how it never fails that the core of all relational conflicts comes from those very ideas about how things are “supposed to be.” And as the saying goes, our ideas about how things are supposed to be are what screws us up most. In fact, I find it funny how no matter what your thoughts and feelings are about something, negative or positive, you can almost always count on some kind of outside validation to support it. It can be in the form of a friend or family member’s advice, a billboard you may see while driving, a song on the radio, a fortune cookie… No matter what frequency you are on, it will somehow be validated and ultimately encouraged to continue… This is something to consider!   

But now consider this: What if it was revealed to mankind that every idea that we’ve ever held about life and how things are supposed to go are false? What if none of it is true, and its all just one great big illusion (almost like a movie), and we are playing the roles that we choose to play with every decision that we make? And what if, as a result of accepting this scenario as true, we are told that our only power in navigating through life is to develop discipline in the mind; that is, be mindful of the thoughts and emotions that pass through your being, and understand that everything that you say and do are the result of what you are thinking and feeling in any given moment. Now, if everything that you say and do will render an opposite or equal reaction, thus creating the events of your life, would it not be a top priority to constantly work at improving one’s thoughts and emotions before or during the decision making process?…

This task for me has been one of great difficulty, as it challenges me to dismiss many ideas that I have about relationships and love, and life in general. Its amazing how many different thoughts and ideas we have about specific subjects that are not our own. They are merely thoughts and ideas that we have learned from the world around us. When we learn to master what controls our actions, we can begin to be more deliberate about just what it is we are trying to accomplish with every given thought and feeling. From there, we can surrender and allow life to unfold profoundly in our favor, rather than against us through negative validation and real-life physical confirmation. This has been one of my greatest revelations!







What inspired you today?

For the past few months, I’ve been doing what great writers such as Louise Hay and Abraham Hicks refer to as “mental work.”

For what, you may be wondering?

For re-directing my thoughts. It pays to think big and truly believe in thoughts of love, abundance, happiness, creativity, and prosperity.

Unfortunately, the average person rarely ever believes in those thoughts that completely contradict the things that they are experiencing in their current reality.

For example, someone who has been told negative things and abused all of their lives, may occasionally think thoughts that are positive, yet don’t really believe those thoughts because everything that they have experienced in life has been mostly negative. The things that they have experienced have taken a toll on their confidence and self-esteem, and ultimately their faith. As a result, negative thoughts become second nature, and so do negative experiences (The Law of Attraction).

The same can be true for someone who grows up poor… Perhaps, as a result of their circumstances, they believe that they never have enough money, or food, or clothes, etc… Perhaps their experiences with lack leads to feelings of unworthiness, instability, or a lack of safety and security.

However, this same person can also hold dreams of one day being rich. The only problem is that if they’re consistently holding dominant thoughts of fear or “lack,” then they hold themselves in a space where there will never be enough. And should they ever break free and become wealthy, then no amount of money, or material goods will ever suffice.

This is where “mental work” comes in. In this context “mental work” refers to the re-training, or redirecting of thoughts from negative to positive, until those thoughts become second nature; replacing old thoughts. Life teaches you that you are what you believe you are, and life becomes whatever dominant thoughts you hold in regards to it.

When you’re used to thinking and believing certain ideas about life, it’s not easy to change them, especially if they have become a dominant part of your personality. But change can happen in every one of us if we are willing to do the mental work.

The mental work begins at the core of whatever thoughts you may hold that keep you from living the life you want to live. Afterall, the only limitations that truly exist are those we set for ourselves. Identify the thoughts that keep you in bondage and understand where they came from. Why do you believe this thought? Who and what contributed to this belief. Once you find the source, learn to forgive everyone and everything, including you. It’s the ONLY way to heal and move forward.

The next step is to begin to tell yourself a different, and more positive story to replace previous thoughts. Do this as often as a negative thought creeps into your mind. Do it until you firmly believe in the new thoughts. Afterall,:

“A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking until you convince yourself that its true.” A. Hicks

I’m inspired because each day I see evidence of my own growth. Letting go of old fears continues to be quite liberating. I hope the same can one day be true for all who desire change in their lives. It all starts in the mind.