How Creating A New Blueprint Can Change Your Life Story

These past couple of months have been a bit of a challenge for me. Not only have I been on an emotional roller coaster, but I’ve found myself conflicted about the direction that I was willing to allow my life to take. Just when I thought I had it all mapped out, life showed me that maybe I don’t have the answers that I thought I did.

Ever been there before?

Well I’m here. And just as I was preparing to go into hiding and sulk about how much my life sucks right now because nothing is going the way I want it to, I came across a video by none other than Tony Robbins. This video titled “Create A New Story” was right on time. In it, Tony addresses the issue of how to get unstuck by changing your blueprint. He defines a “blueprint” as the way that a person believes life should be according to his or her experiences, upbringing, religion, etc… For me, I hadn’t realized how hard I had been on myself for so long because I was so concerned with what others would think about the decisions that I have made in my life thus far… As if they had all the answers to life. I had become so married to this idea about how things were supposed to be that I became bitter with my reality because it was so far from the life that I want, and for that I have suffered massively. From bouts of depression, strong resentment, anxiety attacks, self-doubt, crippling fear of the unknown, and outright anger. I have experienced it all, and its been a path of mental and emotional torture.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies”- Nelson Mandela

That is, until I watched this video. The message that Tony brings home is that to experience happiness and live the life that you can be proud of, you have to be willing to change your view of how things are supposed to be. We as humans have to learn to let go of the ideals that make up the so-called perfect life, and shift to being open to the fact that there is no such thing as one way to be happy. We have to take massive action towards that things that will help us get closer to our goals, or change our blueprint of what success looks like.

An example he uses is that of a former professional basketball player who suffered career ending injuries. This particular player was now living some of his darkest days because his livelihood had been ripped away from him and he could not see any other way to get back to life as he knew it. He became depressed and angry, and lost sight of his purpose because his blueprint had always been to take care of his family through what he had always been great at, basketball. He found so many people to blame for why he was so unhappy, including GOD, and he could not bring himself to see that life could be better in spite of what had happened to him. It wasn’t until Tony showed him that life was only miserable because he was only allowing himself to see things one way, that he became more open to changing his perception of a perfect life.

It was such a beautiful revelation for both this former basketball player and myself. So much so, that I decided to share part of my journey here with you, as well as the very video that helped me realize the damage that I was doing to myself, and to finally be open to a new paradigm and way of life.

Check it out below and let me know what you think.

Peace, Love, and Revelations!- @BCStarks

Grace: Manifesting It Through Gratitude

“Grace is flowing back to me.”

Hey there!

So, I’m participating in this free 21-day meditation challenge presented by Oprah and Deepak Chopra. This time around, the challenge’s focus is “Manifesting Grace through Gratitude.” Previous topics have been how “all good things bring gratitude,” and how to learn to recognize things to be grateful for so that you can open up to receiving more experiences to appreciate. Today is Day 4, and in the journal section where you are invited to share your thoughts, we were asked to reflect on the times (most recently) that we experienced signs of grace. I was able to recall those times most vividly, and decided to share them with my readers. I also want to encourage you, if its your “thing, to join the meditation challenge. Its free and worth all 20 minutes of the 24 hours in your day. Each time that I actually make time to meditate is when I find that I am most at peace and have a more of a clear perspective on my day. I also feel high… Yes, like I just smoked a pound of weed (which I do not smoke at all). Lol Who needs drugs when you can just meditate?! …Don’t knock it until you try it. 😉

Journal: Day 4 – Grace Is Replying

Write down any signs of grace that have come to you recently, such as an unexpected kindness or moment of joy, a sense of perfection, or a feeling of belonging.

I felt grace when I dreamt about my late grandmother the other night. I am currently preparing to move across the country to start a new chapter in my life, and to be honest, I am terrified. In my dream, I was already in my new city, and I was at someone’s wedding. While maneuvering to find a seat, I caught a glance of a woman wearing a red dress and it was my grandmother. I was ecstatic and made a mental note that I would make my way to say hello. Just as I was weaving my way through the crowd of people standing in the isle, I peeped around their bodies to make sure that I was heading towards my grandma. Just as I was getting closer, I woke up. Damnit!  It saddened me that I could not get close enough to her to have a conversation or even say hello.  But I am thankful for grace giving me peace by allowing her to appear in my dream. It gave me comfort to know that even though she’s not physically present, she still supports me at times that I feel I need her most.

Cutting back on duties and demands to spend more time connecting with those you love is a wonderful way to invigorate your energy. Write down three ways you can renew your energy by appreciating what’s around you. For example, you could take a quiet walk amid the trees, view an art exhibit, or catch up with a dear friend.

Yesterday I felt grace when I walked outside to sit among the trees and nature. I found myself wanting to clear my mind, so I decided to meditate outdoors. Its amazing how, in an instant, I felt a sense of oneness with all that the outdoors had to offer. Aside from being distracted by a few pedestrians waling by, I was able to connect my energy with the emanating energies of the trees, and the earth, and the wind… I heard birds chirping, and felt the warmth of the sun kissing my skin. I would do it again, and often even, because it calms my mind and helps me to put things in perspective. I could always pick up the phone to call someone that I haven’t spoken to in a while. Those times always turn into two hour long conversations, and almost always end with “I love you” and “don’t be a stranger.”

Grace is laced throughout my everyday life and always leaves me feeling energetic and ready to handle the next big task of the day.I feel so appreciative that I can recognize these moments as they happen, and be able to say “Thank You” to God and the Universe for allowing me know the joys of life and appreciate them as they come.

Use this space to reflect further on your experience today.

It’s still early in the day for me, but I am open to however grace will present itself. I am open to beauty in all forms, and look forward to continuing to push past fear and allow abundance and love to pour into my life. I’m appreciative for this platform… I look forward to each day that I get to meditate with Deepak and Oprah in my ear.

Namaste…

Love,

@BCSTARKS

When Asked If I Am Truly Happy, Here’s What I Had To Say…

happiness_quote1I had someone ask me the other day if I am truly HAPPY. Their question was in reference to a picture that I posted of myself on Instagram. I took a selfie of me wearing a new sweater from one of my favorite positive apparel brands Peace Love World. And on that sweater were the words “I AM HAPPY” in big bold white and yellow letters. For a moment I had to pause when I was asked the question, not because it struck a nerve that someone would question my personal satisfaction with life, but because I had to take all of my life as a whole into consideration. My conclusion and response to them was this:

Yes, I AM HAPPY… In fact, I’m probably the happiest that I’ve ever been in my entire life despite what circumstances may appear to be. I’m happy because I now know the truth about life. Happiness to me doesn’t mean that I won’t sometimes think negative thoughts, or feel sad, or cry because things just aren’t going right. Instead happiness means that in the midst of those things, I have the full power to choose how I will respond to every situation, and how I will allow those things to affect me emotionally. I know for sure that no matter what happens to me, no matter how bad or good it may be, I have the power to control my thoughts about everything and ultimately change my experience from negative to positive. I have full control over how I allow things to affect me based on what I choose to give my attention to. I can choose to make things that displease me the focus of my world, or I can refocus my attention on what I love about my life, and how much I’m growing and improving every single day. Both are choices dealing with my thoughts, but one bears fruit of emotional chaos, while the other bears fruit of peace and serenity. It makes me happiest to know that life is not happening to me, but that I am an active participant in my every interaction and experience. It makes me happiest to know that GOD trusts me with this personal power to get back on right track whenever I am distracted and veer off course. I have choices, WE ALL DO! And even when I don’t make the best ones, I can easily redirect my path by making a better one, moment by moment. So yes, I AM HAPPY!

And just as if my answer was somehow part of what resonated with their inner being, they nodded in satisfaction for they too had accepted my truth as their own… Are you truly happy? I’d like to know your take on what it means to be happy. Drop me a line… (that means comment below) 🙂

Namaste,

@BCSTARKS

 

SELF MASTERY: Control Your Thoughts/Actions, Surrender The Outcome (On Every Subject!)

surrender

My greatest task these past several months has been the act of letting go. Its one of the hardest things to do when you’re so used to being a bit of a control freak. Okay… Let’s admit, we ALL do this with certain aspects of our lives. We all want to feel as if we have a sense of control over the things that are going on around us. And to a certain degree, we do. But what I’m coming to know, is that the greatest thing that we should aspire to have control over has nothing to do with anything outside of oneself. It has EVERYTHING to do with checking in with the thoughts and feelings that are behind every action or decision that one may make.

Most recently, I had to deal with relationship disappointment. For me, it was that feeling and supporting thoughts of being deprived or cheated of certain treatment. This is a very typical thing for humans, especially women to endure as we are given so many images and ideas from the outside world about how things are supposed to be. And its amazing how it never fails that the core of all relational conflicts comes from those very ideas about how things are “supposed to be.” And as the saying goes, our ideas about how things are supposed to be are what screws us up most. In fact, I find it funny how no matter what your thoughts and feelings are about something, negative or positive, you can almost always count on some kind of outside validation to support it. It can be in the form of a friend or family member’s advice, a billboard you may see while driving, a song on the radio, a fortune cookie… No matter what frequency you are on, it will somehow be validated and ultimately encouraged to continue… This is something to consider!   

But now consider this: What if it was revealed to mankind that every idea that we’ve ever held about life and how things are supposed to go are false? What if none of it is true, and its all just one great big illusion (almost like a movie), and we are playing the roles that we choose to play with every decision that we make? And what if, as a result of accepting this scenario as true, we are told that our only power in navigating through life is to develop discipline in the mind; that is, be mindful of the thoughts and emotions that pass through your being, and understand that everything that you say and do are the result of what you are thinking and feeling in any given moment. Now, if everything that you say and do will render an opposite or equal reaction, thus creating the events of your life, would it not be a top priority to constantly work at improving one’s thoughts and emotions before or during the decision making process?…

This task for me has been one of great difficulty, as it challenges me to dismiss many ideas that I have about relationships and love, and life in general. Its amazing how many different thoughts and ideas we have about specific subjects that are not our own. They are merely thoughts and ideas that we have learned from the world around us. When we learn to master what controls our actions, we can begin to be more deliberate about just what it is we are trying to accomplish with every given thought and feeling. From there, we can surrender and allow life to unfold profoundly in our favor, rather than against us through negative validation and real-life physical confirmation. This has been one of my greatest revelations!

 

Namaste!

 

@BCSTARKS 

 

 

Words of Wisdom

Fear is a question: What are you afraid of and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them…

-Marilyn Ferguson

Fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can!! and I will!!

-Napoleon Hill

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place for correction and it’s not so bad. Imagine a set of people all living in the same building. Half of them think it is a hotel, the other half think it is a prison. Those who think it a hotel might regard it as quite intolerable, and those who thought it was a prison might decide that it was really surprisingly comfortable. So that what seems the ugly doctrine is one that comforts and strengthens you in the end. The people who try to hold an optimistic view of this world would become pessimists: the people who hold a pretty stern view of it become optimistic

-C. S. Lewis

Happiness Is Found In the Choices YOU Make!

The new year is already 8 days old and there have been so many lessons that I’m sure we all have walked away from 2012 with. For me, the journey of 2012 lead me to places I never thought I’d be… spiritually, physically, and especially emotionally.

Last year alone I experienced every human emotion possible, oftentimes feeling more lost than found. For a while I couldn’t understand what God and the Universe were doing with me. And at one point I felt resentful for some of the experiences that I had endured. That was until I realized that I had more power than what I had given myself credit for. Yes, I had the power of choice! It’s the one thing that we as humans have complete control over, even if we can control nothing else… We experience life according to the choices we make. We can choose to play victim and have life happen to us, or we can choose to be a co-creator in our own happiness. Yes, we can CHOOSE HAPPY!

Happiness is a choice that we make with every passing moment. We can choose grace, love and gratitude, or we can choose misery and fear. Since I’m writing this post, you can probably guess which choice I made. That’s right, 2012 may have been quite the challenge, but it wasn’t the deciding factor in my journey. If last year’s phase taught me nothing else, I learned that I can determine my own happiness with a simple shift in awareness and the courage to choose different. If things are going well and you feel a sense of contentment, keep doing those things that serve you best. But if you start to feel that your world is being turned upside down and you are becoming a helpless observer to your own misery, then my friend you need to make some different choices.

As for me, I chose to write this blog post after so long because writing is one of the things in life that makes me happy. I’ve also made some major choices about the direction that I want my life to go in. I’ll  be sure to keep you updated with my progress through BCSTARKS.com. Until then, choose wisely.

Love,

@BCSTARKS