The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

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Some call it an accident, I call it a lesson learned

Ironically, I wrote a similar title for this post with the intentions to blog about a lesson I learned a week ago. However, I didn’t get around to it until a recent experience inspired me to share my lessons.

As the saying goes, when you’re on a journey to great there will be many distractions but you have to stay focused and show Universe that you’ve learned the lessons that it has offered you while on your journey.

I, like many have long wondered why certain things would constantly show up in my experiences or relationships. That is, until I began to understand that everything in life is energy, and that energy “is merely transferred from one source to the next.” Therefore, whatever energy you put out you get back, and it’s not limited to relationships with people, money, material things, and self.

Whatever energy you put into a thing (positive or negative), you will get out of that very same thing.

With this in mind, it recently came to my attention that I too had given off bad energy in certain areas of my life. It all came to a head as I was involved in a minor but scary hit and run accident in which the other driver fled the scene. The easiest thing to do after it occurred was to be angry about how my life had been endangered, as well as the damaged done to my car… which I was. But I was quickly reminded to release the anger by allowing it to subside and give thanks for all that I was grateful for just moments after.

All too often we go through life struggling in ways that even GOD tells us is unnecessary, but we do it anyway. As Oprah recently put it, every other animal species on the planet flees when it senses danger, but human beings are the only species to walk right into it.  In life there are always signs all around us that show when our lives are spiraling out of control based on the energy that we have offered life over time. And sometimes it takes for one to suffer or experience scary situations (sometimes several times) before we become aware of just what we have offered life.

For myself, it had been about me being so consumed with the many tasks of everyday life, that I lost track of what was most important. My family and friends, my health and well-being, and the opportunity to “get it right” the next time. Unfortunately this lesson had to come at the expense of a bashed-in car and little whiplash, but the lessons provided were so great that I now stand more appreciative than resentful of the experience.

It is only when one is given the precious opportunity to become aware of one’s self that he can change for the better and make different decisions. Once aware, there is ample opportunity to take another route and show GOD and the Universe that  you have learned your lessons by doing and thinking differently.

…Which reminds of a song… Although it pertains to love gone wrong, the principles can apply to any aspect of everyone’s life. Enjoy!

Love,

@BCSTARKS