The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

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If you make a “sound” decision, STICK WITH IT!

Based on the many lessons that I have, and continue to encounter, I am mostly learning the importance of sticking with whatever decisions I make; as long as when I come to my conclusion about a subject (whatever it may be) I am operating out of my best emotional state (excitement, happiness, creativity, peace, joy, love).

This is rather important because many times we go into situations feeling positive emotions about something, but eventually we get distracted from the good, and begin to shift our focus to those things and circumstances unwanted… which ultimately leaves us second guessing and regretting our choices (and could possibly cause us to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities).

But the idea to understand is that there was a reason why you once felt so great about the conclusion that you drew. The reason is that no vision, especially when it is of “light,” (positive feelings and actions) is ever flawed. If the decision is harmless, to yourself and others, and it feels right, then IT IS RIGHT.

However, its only when you start giving your attention to what’s so wrong about it, that your experience with it becomes so wrong. Everything starts to contradict your initial excitement because your focus has gone from why it’s so great, to your being consumed with why it’s so bad.

I am a firm believer in the power of the human mind to be able to create out of a single thought, whatever experiences and things that one chooses to give their attention to. Look around, every physical thing in life is a perfect example of this idea (airplanes, cars, buildings, businesses, technology, music… all are the result of focused attention/thoughts.

The reason I’ve learned to not walk away from decisions that I make from a positive emotional state, is because when I walk through the process of those choices, I find that the greatest lessons lie there; lessons that are meant to shape us into the very people that we intend to be.

A simple shift in one’s awareness from how bad it is (now) to how great it is (when we first imagined it, and even now, as long as we choose to only entertain the good) will reveal that there is no such thing as a mistake or coincidence when you are operating from SOURCE. If you can continue to exercise faith by walking through your process, then perseverance will show you that none of your focused effort will ever be in vain.

So if you made the decision with the good intentions, stick with it, and in doing so continue to be your best self. Watch how your process turns from obstacle to open opportunity to grow abundantly. When you finally “arrive,” you can look back and say, “It was all a part of my process, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

LOVE,

@BCSTARKS