BrittNay’s Corner: What I Resist, Persists…

Today, for the first time I became aware of how often I allow my mind to be consumed by the things and experiences that don’t please me. For the first time I was able to recognize the very moment that my negative thoughts drifted so far that anxiety began to creep up on me. I started feeling anxious and couldn’t focus long enough to complete the task at hand. My emotions were all over the place, and peace was the farthest thing from me. All of this because I could not take my mind off of those things that I believed weren’t working for me. From my current 9-5 and my living situation, to my diet and all the things that I want to change. You name it, my mind was on it. And boy did it go on and on and on…

“Negative thoughts stick around because we believe them, not because we want them or choose them.”

Andrew J. Bernstein

That is, until something within me recognized the chaos that was going on my mind. I like to call that something my “inner knowing.” That inner knowing recognized the verbal and emotional assault that I subconsciously inflicted upon myself as I uncontrollably dissected how I could have and should have done things differently, or how the experiences that I was having was somehow less than fair. My observer remained still and awakened to the fact that “it” was not a part of this negative space that was being created within me. This inner knowing knew the truth about life, about my circumstances, and about what is possible for me… and “it” became my great escape from the toxic false reality that I had inflicted upon myself.  Before this moment, I could not see how I was contributing to my own suffering because I would not allow myself to dream a better reality than the one that I was experiencing. The reason I could not dream a better reality is because I would not take my mind off of what was wrong in my eyes.

“Bondage is – subjection to external influences and internal negative thoughts and attitudes.” – W. Clement Stone

After being on this journey for as long as I have, I’d like to think that I’ve learned a thing or two about the truths of life. Thus far, what I know to be true is that the things that you resist in life, will persist. That is to say that whatever one focuses on, and whatever one gives their emotional energy to tends to linger whether positive or negative. This truth lead me to the awareness that I had created a reality for myself that even I disapproved of because I refused to instead shift my attention to everything else that had worked in my favor. In the words of Abraham and Esther Hicks,”I would not let things get good for me” because I was so busy focusing on what I thought was so bad. From this space, it is nearly impossible to welcome any of what God and the Universe has in store for us when we can’t even be grateful for the blessings that we have already.

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” – Mark Twain

It was revealed to me that nothing and no one outside of me had been more instrumental in keeping me from the life that I dream of living than the negative thoughts that I allow to fester in my mind. In this moment, as I share my experience with you, I am thankful for this newfound awareness, for it has now empowered me to know just how much power I have in co-creating my reality.

It is my wish that you will be blessed and brought to a more powerful level of awareness as a result of reading my story. After all, the truth is only a thought that you keep thinking until you believe that its true. DON”T BELIEVE THE LIES!

How much can you relate to my story? I’d love to learn more. Drop a comment below, or shoot me an email at bcstarkspr@gmail.com.

Love,

@BCSTARKS

The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

Featured Dream Chaser: #WaterBabee @DanniWashington Is A Real-Life Mermaid!


It’s not too often that I write a “Featured Dream Chaser” piece, but this one is loooong overdue. Let’s just say it probably should have been one of the first features I ever posted here, especially since I know this Dream Chaser all too well. Yup, she’s my bestie! And her journey is everything short of a Cinderella tale. As gorgeous as she is, Danni Washington is a BEAST! And anything else that’s resilient, unshakeable, unstoppable, and UN-breakable. And she’s been that way long before I met her when I was just a 17-year-old soon-to be senior in high school, who’d been following her hairstylist mother around backstage as she whipped the manes of some of South Florida’s most beautiful models for a beach-side fashion show.

 

Danni, the same age as me, was a model in the show. And although I don’t remember most of the details of that day, I do remember having a very brief conversation about our goals for the future. She had plans to attend the University of Miami to study Marine Biology, something that I had no clue about. When she said it had something to do with swimming a whole lot, and being alongside ocean creatures, I knew right away just why I knew NOTHING about marine life. With a mother as a hairstylist, I had probably been getting relaxers (permanent hair straighteners) for most of my life. And if you know what that is, then you know that water and perms DO NOT MIX! Therefore, I had no interest whatsoever in what she was talking about. But, I was magnetically drawn to her undeniable passion as she spoke of this goal of hers to attend a university that had one of the best Marine Biology programs in the country. I shared with her that I too had plans to attend the University of Miami, but not because I had actually researched any of its programs. My wish to attend UM was mostly because it was always a spoken of with such high regards in my family and surrounding community. I mean, everyone in Miami knew and loved “The U! And if I was going to continue my education, I wanted to be associated with the “The Best.” Sounds crazy, I know. Especially given how expensive UM is (I’ll be paying for it for a while). But college was always an after thought for me. If it weren’t for my desire to set an example for my family as the first to graduate college, I probably would have never gone…

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Any who, the next time I saw Danni was about 3 years later. We were both juniors in college and I had just transferred to the University of Miami after completing two years in junior college (I had to figure out a way to save some money somehow if I was gonna pick the most expensive school in Florida). I must have recognized her instantly as we were both leaving the bookstore and heading towards the University Center. I remember tapping her shoulder and belting out a “HEY! How are you?!” with my arms open and ready to embrace a long-lost friend. We hugged and reminded each other of how and when we first met, and we both shared an implicit “WE MADE IT” moment, as we acknowledged that we both did EXACTLY what we said we would, in spite of.  That moment solidified the foundation of our friendship, and we’ve been sisters ever since.  We shared some of our most embarrassing, hurtful, happy and joyous moments throughout those years at UM. Our deepest connection, however, was our passion for understanding life’s mysteries… Yes, our curiosity of GOD and Spirituality, and our love for mankind is the glue that kept us connected and focused on the tasks at hand. We might not have quite understood our paths and why they crossed, but we had an understanding that our journeys were much bigger than we could have ever imagined, and that we could NOT travel alone.

 

Since graduating college Danni has gone on to start her own non-profit organization, The Big Blue & You, which is dedicated to educating youth about the ocean through media and an annual Art By The Sea event.  Every bit of her dream has required courage, hard work, and huge leaps of faith. In 2012, she packed her bags and took her talents to Los Angeles, California to solidify her dream of being an Ocean Advocate and On-Air personality. So far so good as she’s been invited to The White House at least twice, has worked on phenomenal marine life projects alongside some of the best in her field (including Life After Earth Science with Jayden Smith), has her very own TED Talks speech, and was recently featured in SEVENTEEN Magazine’s “Score Your Dream Life.” My girl has been WERKIN’! And in my eyes, she will forever be THE ULTIMATE Dream Chaser.

Meet Danni Washington: 2014 Reel

[youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdrph9Xr0do%5D

Check out Danni’s TED Talks as she explains her journey:

[youtube:http://youtu.be/1Lr9afMgcTQ%5D

Be sure to pick of the latest copy of Seventeen’s August 2014 to see how Danni exercises her GIRL POWER!

Throwback Inspiration: Tyrese Gibson has ‘Mastered His Domain’

Waddup #DreamTakers!

I came across this article while doing some research for my graduate thesis. Now, let me just say that I am always on the look out for things that keep me inspired, and those things are usually always hidden in the story of someone else’s life.

In this case, Tyrese Gibson, known for his starring roles in Transformers, Baby Boy, and Four Brothers has me awe. Besides the fact that he is wayyy too easy on the eyes, this guy’s story of rediscovering his passion after getting bitten by the “success bug” is phenomenal.

He talks about being vulnerable as a man, and not letting his ego and pride get in the way of all the good that he desires for  his life. He even discusses how when he realized that he couldn’t do everything on his own, he reach out to those whom he looked up to, such as Will Smith, who told him that “in order to truly succeed he’d have to change everything around him.” Who hasn’t heard this lesson before???

This article may be 3 years old, but so many people I know can identify with his story, including me.

Double click each photo to read the article:

BTW- I need to KNOW him… Like for real, for real. 😉

My celebrity crush, Tyrese Gibson… and J. Cole.