The 3 Gems of LIFE: Self-Esteem, Self-Value, & Self-Worth

There’s this reoccurring lesson that keeps presenting itself to me in various forms of my day to day interactions with others. And for a while I didn’t recognize just what it was truly about. In fact, in many of those instances, I thought that somehow life was playing a cruel trick on me. Yes, even I played the victim role. But it hasn’t been until recently that I had to take several steps back and connect the dots in every single one of those scenarios. From interactions with family, boyfriends, co-workers, potential business partners, employers, on down the list… I had been experiencing what felt like a tug-o-war over how I wanted them to see me vs. how I felt I was being treated. And let me tell you, as foolish as this feels for me to admit, I understand that its all a part of growing up. We all have experienced or will experience such a feeling of being under appreciated, or undervalued, especially when we truly know who we are inside.

The trick to something like this is that it’s never really about the people that you are interacting with. In fact, they aren’t even half of the equation of this battle that you’re facing. From what I had to learn, and I’m still absorbing nuggets of wisdom from, is that:

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we treat ourselves

We show people how to interact with us, by the way we interact with ourselves

We inform the world of how much we are worth, by the way we value ourselves

The world looks at us the very same way that we look at ourselves

When we see and feel ugliness and pain within, the world will reflect that same ugliness and pain to us through our interactions

When we see beauty, love, and kindness within, the world will reflect that same beauty, love, and kindness through others

When we show forgiveness for ourselves for our own shortcomings and flaws, it is easier to forgive others, and it unknowingly makes it easier for them to forgive us

When we stand up for ourselves and become our own biggest champion, others will rise to meet us, defend us, and cheer us on

When we feel amazing, unstoppable, and fearless on the inside, life will give us more evidence of just how amazing, unstoppable and unconquerable we really are

When we understand that we and GOD/SOURCE/UNIVERSE are ONE, we understand that we too possess unlimited power and NOTHING or NO ONE outside of us has control over our lives

YOU ARE IN CONTROL of YOU and ONLY YOU!

These nuggets of wisdom come in handy as I continue to sort through what I feel is best for me within my interactions, and in order for me to live my best life. This includes how I wish to be treated by family, friends, significant others, and so on. I’m understanding my role in all of these interactions and how I am hardly ever a victim in any of them. Its all about learning to love myself on the deepest levels, feeling whole and complete at all times (regardless of what I have or have not accomplished), being confident in the woman that I’ve become so far, setting boundaries for what I will and will not tolerate from others (and sticking to it…there’s no point in betraying what you really feel on the inside, otherwise you will attract experiences where others will betray you as well).

Are you starting to get the point here? If more love is what you desire, then figure out where in your life you are not loving yourself enough. Do you often criticize yourself and the way you look? Do you feel like you don’t deserve certain things, even though you really want them? Or do you feel like others won’t do certain things for you, even though you would really like them to? Do you beat up on yourself when you make mistakes or not so great decisions? If so, this is exactly what you are training others to do when they interact with you. To turn it all around, learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to do things for yourself that you would like others to do for you (remember, they are watching your movements and ultimately following your lead). Know that you deserve any and every good thing that you can imagine for your life. And perhaps the people that you are interacting with are not the one’s to give you what you really need. Instead, they are a reflection of who you are choosing to be in those moments. So when you finally wise up and learn to value yourself, perhaps those same people will either step their game up in how they treat you, or disappear altogether and make room for people that will honor this new and improved version of you.

This lesson is something kinda special. I’m not saying that its easy to do either, because one of the hardest things to do in life is to unlearn bad habits. But with effort, gentleness, and time, you can become anything that you want to be!

 

Namaste,

 

@BCSTARKS

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[UPDATE] Thinking & Growing Rich: Life gives you just what you ask of it, through the foundation of your beliefs

I had to share this excerpt from my favorite book of all time, Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Once again, this book is filled with so much divine wisdom that it is almost impossible to ignore… or should I say, foolish. Check out what mean:

There is a difference between wishing for a thing and being ready to achieve it. No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be belief, not mere hope or wish. Open-mindedness is essential for belief. Closed minds do not inspire faith, courage, and belief. 

Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty. A great poet has correctly stated this universal truth through these lines:

“I bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more, 

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer, 

He gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.

This book has by far been the most influential piece of literature that I have read thus far. The most powerful lesson I drew from this excerpt is that no matter how hard you wish, or hope, or pray… if you do not believe in yourself, or you dreams and desires, they can NEVER manifest. In that same lesson I learned that your life will turn out as big as you allow yourself to imagine it to be. If you think small, you get small, and vice versa. How big is your vision? For that will be the foundation of your own dreams manifested.  (Check out the poem that I posted previously from the same book on the topic of belief… Simple, yet POWERFUL!)

If you find that your thoughts are very limited in nature, then change them. Begin to tell a different story until you believe the thoughts that are most beneficial towards your growth. Think prosperity, joy, peace, happiness, abundance, and unlimited supply of all that you could ever need and want. Stop thinking that you don’t have enough of something. Stop entertaining what you see, for it is only your TEMPORARY REALITY. You have all that you need to be all that you desire in life, you just need to start to believe THAT. Your thoughts become your beliefs… which ultimately becomes your life. Choose wisely the thoughts that you entertain.

Think & Grow Rich (in mind, body, spirit, and POCKETS!!!!)

[UPDATE]: I found video of Napoleon Hill (the author of Think and Grow Rich) on YouTube. Its basically a video of the actual book! Check it out and be blessed! 🙂

 

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmCtWskzmAQ]

Love,

@BCSTARKS

P.S.- Im enjoying this journey…  #teamdreamchasers