Words of Wisdom: Do we rescue others because we don’t feel good about ourselves?

“Many of us do not understand what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for. We may believe we have to get into a tizzy when someone has a problem because it is our responsibility to do that. However, at the heart of most rescues is a demon: low self-worth. We rescue because we don’t feel good about ourselves… caretaking provides us with a temporary hit of good feelings, self-worth, and power. Just as a drink helps an alcoholic momentarily feel better, a rescue move momentarily distracts us from the pain of being who we are. We don’t feel loveable, so we settle for being needed. We don’t feel good about ourselves, so we feel compelled to do a particular thing to prove how good we are.”

– Melody Beattie, page 90 from her book “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”. Beattie is a New York Times Best-selling author and journalist.

[Borrowed from TheDailyLove.com]