These past few days have been quite interesting. In fact, all of 2012 thus far has been continuous moments of enlightenment and heightening of the spirit for myself. But I never would have guessed the magnitude of a lesson that I would learn from my encounter with crashing waves on a seashore and a “Good Year” Blimp… Yes, the kind you see floating in the sky on NFL Game Day.
It all started with a peaceful day on the beach with my beloved mother. She and I have always been close, but as I’ve gotten older I find that we have become more open to sharing life lessons and experiences with one another. I’ve found this to be most helpful in bringing better understanding, instead of the judgement that often shows up in a parent-child relationship. On this day, I felt like we hit a real milestone by uncovering lessons that neither of us had probably ever shared with anyone else, but it was because we are both open to growth and change. And that’s what’s most beautiful about our relationship. #ILoveThatWoman
Hours into our retreat, just as my mother had taken an important phone call, I decided to go closer to the shore to meditate. I walked into the ocean until the crashing waves nearly reach my knees, and I buried my feet in the wet sand. I closed my eyes and affirmed to myself many great things including that “I am now attracting whatever help I need to solve problems.” The moment was so peaceful and calm that I must have spent 10 minutes in complete mental silence, but it felt like much longer. Just as I opened my eyes, I looked up only to notice a Good Year blimp floating just above me. It made me smile as I took it as a sign that the Universe had accepted my affirmations, and was letting me know that this year will be a good year… or more like a GREAT YEAR because I said so, and I believe so! 🙂
Little did I know, it would mean much more. The following day, just as I geared up to attend a workshop for school, I noticed that there was an irregular bulge in one of the tires on my car… My tires just happened to be Good Year tires (go figure LOL). Since I was pressed for time, I called my mother to help me search for nearby tire shops that could quickly help me meet my deadline for the workshop. There happened to be a Good Year tire shop just up the road from where I was, so I went.
But let me tell you, it was a whirlwind if I ever saw one. But a beautiful one.
When the tire on my car had been changed, I handed my debit card over to the manager who did the service, only to be informed that it had been declined. Confused, I asked him to run it again as credit… and again, declined. After calling the bank, I was told that there were insufficient funds in my account to cover the balance because a check that I was anticipating wouldn’t clear until the following day. Talk about embarrassing. LOL
But I was most intrigued by the manager who, while I was near panic mode and slightly flustered, he remained calm, helpful, and kind. I offered to write a check, and he agreed to let me do so, except I had left my checkbook at home, which was almost 30 mins away! AHHHH!!!! I did, however, happen to come across 20 bucks in cash to put towards what was in my account, which was less than what was owed.
To my surprise, the manager began typing on his computer as I said to him, “Sir, I apologize for the inconvenience, but what are my options? At this point, I was willing to have the tire removed and try it again the next day. Instead he told me that he was willing to go with whatever I came up with. Huh?! That’s what I said. He then handed me a receipt and told me to go ahead and take care of whatever I needed to do for the day. I looked down at the receipt and realized that he had waived the remaining balance. Why???? Because just as I perform random acts of kindness, I am very much WORTHY to receive them as well. But had I truly believed this before?
I had always believed in blessing others for the sake of making someone’s day a little brighter; to put a smile on someone else’s face; to help take away some of the stress of another’s life; for the sake of blessing another human being. But I didn’t know or realize how much I had denied myself of being blessed, by feeling unworthy. I was so moved by the managers random act of kindness that I began to cry. I shed tears because in that moment I realized that it was bigger than just his act of kindness. In that moment I accepted that the Universe was on my side, just as I had affirmed the day before. I was shown that “a decline is not a denial,” as the saying goes.
I realized that it is up to me to be open and receptive to GOD”s goodness by letting go of the things that no longer work in agreement with this belief. That includes toxic relationships, self-valuation, and most importantly THOUGHTS… especially thoughts of unworthiness.
In life, we tend to experience things that directly correspond to our predominant thoughts about ourselves, and life in general. From the relationships and jobs that we attract, to our own self-perception; life responds to us according to what we predominantly BELIEVE!
And yes, I finally get it. I KNOW now that I AM WORTHY… WE ARE WORTHY of all of GOD”s goodness, no matter how big; no matter how small. WE ARE ALL WORTHY!
Release all contradicting thoughts and things.