Late night ramble…

I should be heading to bed right now… at least that’s true if I go by the schedule of my current 9-5. But the truth is that my dreams keep me up at night. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that I was destined for something greater than the norm. I never did fit in with most of my peers because of everything that I was into… My natural curiosity of life’s mysteries, embracing evolution, wanting others to see themselves as GOD sees them… Nope, not the typical thoughts of a 10-year-old, or 15-year-old, or 21-year-old, and so on. But there I was, and here I am.

These dreams that I write about, they haunt me. You see, the way my journey has been set up is that I have found myself on a rollercoaster of experiences that I’d rather not have had. Even though I am a firm believer in every experience contributing our greater good, often times it seems like these unwelcome experiences are standing right between me and my visions of a life well imagined. And I can’t help but notice that with each fleeting moment, time is lost forever and never to be replenished.

My prayer in this moment is for peace. I desire peace because no matter what is happening on the surface, I want to maintain calm and certainty that I will ultimately find myself right where I need, want, and am beyond pleased to be. As I am often told by the greats,”You must find peace first, and then the things that you want will manifest. You must believe it first, and then you will see it with out. You must have faith that is unwavering and speak only of those things which you hope for as though they already are, and so it shall be.”

As I am understanding these principles more, I find that I am struggling with them. This battle is one of the mind, fear versus faith, and I win mostly… But when I lose, I lose miserably. But I am reminded that no matter how many times I fall, fail, and have my heart-broken, I should never stop picking up the pieces and trying a new approach. That is the true testament of faith and believe… To believe in an outcome, even when you cannot yet see the evidence of it.

That my friend, is where true strength, tenacity, and perseverance dwell and thrive. That my friend is where I currently reside… I’ll stop there for now.




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