Words of Wisdom: Do we rescue others because we don’t feel good about ourselves?

“Many of us do not understand what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for. We may believe we have to get into a tizzy when someone has a problem because it is our responsibility to do that. However, at the heart of most rescues is a demon: low self-worth. We rescue because we don’t feel good about ourselves… caretaking provides us with a temporary hit of good feelings, self-worth, and power. Just as a drink helps an alcoholic momentarily feel better, a rescue move momentarily distracts us from the pain of being who we are. We don’t feel loveable, so we settle for being needed. We don’t feel good about ourselves, so we feel compelled to do a particular thing to prove how good we are.”

– Melody Beattie, page 90 from her book “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”. Beattie is a New York Times Best-selling author and journalist.

[Borrowed from TheDailyLove.com]

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An Open Gesture of Gratitude…

As I write this post, it is the early hours of the morning and I am laying in bed next to my mother while she sleeps peacefully… Yes, I said my mother.

Whenever I visit my mom, I always find comfort in lying next to her and falling asleep, sometimes to her protest because I tend to sleep wild… especially when I’m super tired. Lol But its one of the ways that we bond.

Its been a common occurrence since I was a little girl because I grew up as my mother’s only daughter in a house full of brothers. My mother was a single parent raising my 3 brothers and I, and so when she would come home from work, there I would be waiting for her in her bed to give her the rundown on what the boys did that day. I guess you could say that we were like a team because I was her eyes and ears when she wasn’t around, and it was me that she trusted to hold down the fort. Lol

Even as an adult, she and I still share stories before bed, or moments of inspiration as we awake. I’m always grateful to share these moments with my mother because they are precious. Its been our way of basking in our feminine energy even while in the midst of so much testosterone. Its also our way of expressing how near we truly are to one another in spirit. No matter what separates us physically, we are always near in spirit. And I never take these moments for granted because life is ever changing…

I share this story with you in a spirit of gratitude for the connection that I share with the person who nurtutred and showered me with unconditional love… Love that I can never forget as I am reminded of it while laying next to her.

I Love my mommy,

I’d like to know what connections exist in your life that make you grateful for them. Drop me a line.

Love,

@BCSTARKS