I’m at an interesting point in my life where I’m gaining a better understanding about the power of kindness and compassion for self. Most of us would like to believe that we are kind and compassionate by nature, and to a certain degree we are. But kindness and compassion for self is something that most people struggle with on a large-scale, including myself for some time.
It wasn’t until I came to understand the concept that you can only effectively be the “thing” for others, that you are for yourself, that my eyes began to open. My personal struggle was that I couldn’t be as compassionate and kind towards others as I really wanted to because I had mental blocks that wouldn’t even allow me to be gentle, or feel compassion for myself. At first this was a hard pill to swallow, that is until I began to dig deeper.
The truth is, I had always been very hard on myself, especially when it came to setting goals, and getting things accomplished. I’m not quite sure where I learned it from, but I recall being extremely critical with myself whenever I felt that I didn’t meet a certain goal, or complete certain tasks. Guilty as charged.
Luckily for me, I was able to identify this as something that I NEEDED to change within myself to allow myself room to grow in other areas. If I wanted to have a better relationship with life (which includes relationships with family, friends, partners, as well as better experiences, health, etc.) I needed to get a grip on showing myself some TLC, and a lot more of it.
In order to do this, I began to put an end to criticizing myself, even for the slightest of things. We don’t recognize what powerful messages we are constantly sending the Universe when we criticize ourselves. Every single time you find something to criticize yourself about, you are subconsciously telling the Universe “I’m not good enough.” Therefore, you attract experiences and people into your life that give you more validation of not being good enough. Think about your life long and hard, and try to understand what I’m talking about… This is exactly what I knew I had to put an end to.
Once you become aware of criticism within yourself, you have to tell yourself the opposite of what you normally would, something nice for a change. Tell yourself you are beautiful/handsome, flaws and all; that you love and approve of yourself no matter where you are in life; that you are never lacking because God always provides for you; that you forgive yourself for anything that you previously disapproved of; that you are where you are, and that is perfectly okay because every situation in life is temporary; that you respect your life process and trust that you always make the right decisions that will add to your growth. All of these thoughts counteract the negative one’s that you’ve probably been telling yourself all your life. Repeating them as often as possible, especially when you feel the need to criticize yourself or others, will begin to set you free.
When you can focus on becoming a better you, there is no room for finding fault in others. Therefore, you can be genuinely kind and compassionate towards others, because you will begin to be it for yourself. More importantly, the Universe will begin to support every positive thought that you bring to it, and life will begin to be much more rewarding.
Remember, thoughts become things. And whatever it is that you choose to believe becomes true for you.